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Horse Blinders

By Andy and Renie Bowman

The funeral for Evan’s brother-in-law had concluded two hours ago. And now, a small group of grieving family and friends were gathered in Evan and Shaylie’s home to share memories, laughter, tears and encouragement. 

The front door opened again. Nothing unusual about that. People had been arriving every few minutes, but this guest was different. Those nearby immediately noticed her and turned to watch her entrance, which then attracted the attention of everyone else. 

As she hesitantly stepped through the door, her slight body moved with a slow awkward gait. Her tense shoulders rounded forward as if to protect her from painful blows. Both hands clutched the small handbag she held in front of her as she moved only a few tentative steps forward, then dwindled to a stop. 

As the host, Evan came forward to greet her. He reached out his hand, introduced himself, and welcomed her into his home. He didn’t recognize her, but he assumed she was a friend of someone in the family. 

The anguished eyes that met him were darkened with an inner turmoil as she quietly spoke to him. Something was very obviously troubling her, and he assumed the cause to be the sudden death of his brother-in-law. So, he quickly turned to search through the guests to locate his wife. Hoping that kind lady would come to his rescue.

Just like everyone else in the living room, Shaylie had already spotted the lady as soon as Kathey stepped through the door. It didn’t take long to reach her husband’s side. Shaylie put her arm around tense shoulders and spoke softly into Kathey’s ear. 

Because they attended the same ladies church group, she was well acquainted with her friend’s story. She didn’t have to assume or guess the reason for Kathey’s tenseness — the endless rounds of doctor visits, the sleeplessness, the never-ending pain in Kathey’s body which doctors had yet been able to source. 

Hugging her friend, Shaylie softly thanked her for coming to express her sympathy. 

Then she made her mistake. She gently asked Kathey how she was feeling today. 

Slowly looking around the crowded room, Kathey saw so many people who attended her own church. People who had never bothered to ask her how she was feeling. The sight of so many gathered together to console Shaylie’s family suddenly brought on an attack of well-fitted, self-centered horse-blinders. Shaylie’s sadness and grief were forgotten. All Kathey could see was her own lonely five-year battle with misery.

And then, the dam broke. The result of feeling isolated for years with her pain suddenly erupted from a mouth that had seemingly lost all control of itself. Resentment and jealousy coated her tongue and spewed its filth over everyone there before she turned and rushed out the door, never realizing the harm she had just inflicted on Shaylie’s family and her own reputation. 

When you are in pain, speak up, before you finally explode and cause damage.

The CoffeeTime Column is part of the Bowman’s ministry of preaching, writing, singing, and counseling. They also stay busy with public appearances and their radio program heard on The Gospel Station Network’s twenty stations. More information on them can be found at coffeetimewithandyandrenie.com. 

Sponsored by Premier Coatings, Montgomery, AL at (334) 288-3351. Podcasts available at Coffeetimecolumn.com. Send any responses to: andybowman839@gmail.com.