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By Andy and Renie Bowman

You’ve surely seen them, the people in your life that rarely look at the glass as half empty. To them, having a half-empty glass just means they can fill it to the brim with whatever they choose. 

But to a person who is discouraged, depressed and feeling victimized by endless defeats, a “Constantly Contented Connie” can be absolutely irritating to be around. We commonly refer to the two attitudes as “Victor” and “Victim” mindsets.

Victors have decided to be just that. They have already decided that they will play the long game. Sure, they remember the defeats, the heartaches, the horrible times in the past. They aren’t ignorant and naïve. They know sad times are going to roll over and flatten them again. But here’s the difference. They know a difficult time can only defeat them as much and as long as they allow it to defeat them. So, during the discouraging times, they concentrate on the good parts in their life, wherever they can find them. 

A tornado blows away their home — they thank God that their family is alive. A fire takes the life of their loved ones, even in their overwhelming grief they find ways to be grateful for other things and other loved ones left in their life. They lose their only means of income and they invariably open their heart to others and realize they can be grateful for so many other things and people in their lives. 

While they determinedly begin searching for a new way of supporting themselves.

They simply refuse to quit. And because they won’t, they keep marching ahead. 

Oh, yes, of course they feel pain and discouragement. They’re not happy little robots who can only get in touch with their positive emotions. But the difference is this. They have determined within themselves to not become victimized by the difficulties of their life. They know if they do, they will be destined to feel hopeless, always feeling victimized.

On the other hand is the victim, a person who has been hurt badly, over and over again in life. At some point they began to give up hoping that they would catch a break, that life will be good to them. And unfortunately, hopelessness can be the birthplace of anger, which is usually the grandparent of depression. It’s not a great way to live life.

A victim mindset can be changed, but only if you want to change and will work at it. This doesn’t necessarily mean that your circumstances will automatically become the stuff of dreams. But it does mean that you won’t have to live your life just knowing that the worst will always happen.

Ongoing pessimism is your enemy. The killer of dreams and the ambusher of any optimism and happiness that life can hand to you. 

Give yourself the chance to win – even in loss.

The CoffeeTime Column is part of the Bowman’s ministry of preaching, writing, singing, and counseling. They also stay busy with public appearances and their radio program heard on The Gospel Station Network’s twenty stations. More information on them can be found at coffeetimewithandyandrenie.com. 

Sponsored by Premier Coatings, Montgomery, AL at (334) 288-3351. Podcasts available at Coffeetimecolumn.com. Send any responses to: andybowman839@gmail.com.