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By Andy and Renie Bowman

Years ago, a young couple left their almost-two-year-old son with his favorite babysitter, Miss Elva. A few days later, she laughingly told them that he had come to her that evening, dragging his diaper bag behind him. 

Paul was a unique little boy who disliked speaking. He simply refused to talk unless he was forced by circumstances beyond his control. And that didn’t seem to happen very often. Most of the time that intelligent, determined tyrant resorted to manipulation, pointing, and outright sulking to convey what he was thinking. 

But there was another thing that the child detested: feeling sogginess next to his little “hiney.” So that evening he simply brought the bag to her and stood there, mutely asking for a change in attire. Amused, Miss Elva told him to get a diaper out and hand it to her. 

Paul quickly set the bag down and dug clear to the bottom. After finally locating the lone diaper that was sent, he handed it to her and broke his habitual silence with this loud and clear complaint, “I’m gettin’ sick and tired of Momma sendin’ me only one diaper!”

Now, before you get yourself into a tizzy, those parents were very aware that their stubborn little son was quickly approaching what approximates the “elderly years” in potty training.  They were trying to get him potty trained. 

But have you heard of people who march to their own drumbeat and do things on their own timetable? They definitely had one on their hands. No amount of coaxing, teaching, bribing or discipline tactics moved him from his own set course. Consistently using a potty chair was going to happen when he said so and not before.

Yes, he certainly was too old to be constantly relying on diapers. His problem? That little toddler preferred to just blame someone else for his problem and have someone else fix it for him. Learning responsibility for his own uncomfortable-ness wasn’t on his radar. He simply didn’t want to stop playing and take care of business. 

Miss Elva laughed at the incident. Paul’s mom and dad sure didn’t. They were aware what it could mean down the road for a child to be able to talk but refuse to be toilet trained. Had they failed to teach him to take responsibility for his ‘personal habits,’ then how difficult would it have possibly been to teach him personal responsibility for his actions in the years ahead? 

Moreover, it stands to reason that if he had been allowed to ‘roam free’ in childhood, he could have also struggled later in life to teach his own kids to accept responsibility for their own actions.

If a not-my-problem mindset doesn’t get changed, a child can easily become just a baby grownup. Unfortunately, the suggestion sure sounds familiar today. I think our country is dealing with a whole bunch of baby grownups. 

Bring on the potty chairs.

The CoffeeTime Column is part of the Bowman’s ministry of preaching, writing, singing, and counseling. They also stay busy with public appearances and their radio program heard on The Gospel Station Network’s twenty stations. More information on them can be found at coffeetimewithandyandrenie.com. 

Sponsored by Premier Coatings, Montgomery, AL at (334) 288-3351. Podcasts available at Coffeetimecolumn.com. Send any responses to: andybowman839@gmail.com.